This conversation probably never happened

Jim Lee: So here's a thought: why don't we kick Gail Simone off a book she clearly loves and prevent all but one of our creators from using Superman in the DC Universe continuity, especially the guy we've got lined up to take over Action Comics, and let fan-favourite JM Straczynski take Supes and Wonder Woman to new heights?

Dan Didio: By new heights, do you mean completely ignoring and/or needlessly changing everything about the characters that has made them pop culture icons for decades?

Lee: Yeah! Like he did with Spider-Man!

Didio: I love this. LOVE. IT. I've only got one tweak I'd like to make.

Lee: Lay it on me, Danny-baby.

Didio: Let's let JMS start long-term storylines featuring these, these--

Lee: All-Star Batman'd.

Didio: --these All-Star Batman'd versions of the characters, and solicit the books before we're sure we can produce them on anything resembling a monthly schedule--

Lee: That kinda goes without saying, doesn't it...?

Didio: No, I haven't got to the best part yet--We let him do this, start these major, history-making, character-enhancing storylines, and then, you're gonna love this--then we encourage him to leave the titles in MID-STORYLINE to work on something that'll stroke his ego even more than writing two of the best known franchises known to man and replace him with writers nobody cares about. Someone like JT Krul.

Lee: He still hasn't given you the negatives, huh?

Didio: By hook or by crook, I'm gonna get those pictures, and when I do, so help me...

Lee: I'm not big on the Krul thing. Shouldn't we use someone 98% of our loyal readership doesn't loathe? Someone who knows how to write a solid, entertaining comic?

Geoff Johns (walking in): You need someone to write something? I've got a few minutes. I mean, I need to go to the bathroom, but I could hold it in until you tell me what you need--

Didio & Lee: Shut up, Geoff.

Geoff Johns: Whatever you want, guys. You all doing OK, don't need anything? Water? Diet Coke? No? OK, if you need me I'll be in the can writing another episode of Smallville!

(Johns leaves)

Lee: How someone like that managed to make Green Lantern seem cool, I'll never know.

Didio: OK, back to Superman and Wonder Woman. So we don't use JT. What about Phil Hester?

Lee: Yeah, him or maybe that Roberson kid.

Didio: Well, JMS is going to be abandoning two of our three flagship characters' titles mid-storyline-- (shivers with pleasure) --Why just throw one writer to the wolves when we can poison the longtime career dreams of two?

Lee: My god.

Didio: I know, right?

Lee and Didio: WE'RE #@%&ING BRILLIANT!

***

Nope. I just do not understand how this was allowed to happen. Good luck to Phil Hester and Chris Roberson, though. They've both got tough rows to hoe.

A