Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Another reason to support gay marriage. A stupid reason, but still.

Traditional marriage must be plowed through for socialism to take hold of American society. At least according to Iowa's Republican representative Steve King. Normally I'd say something like this clearly demonstrates that Iowa's Republican representative Steve King is a #*%&ing moron, but I'm told it's not nice to make fun of the retarded, which, based on the information at the link, I have to assume is the case. So I won't say Iowa's Republican Steve King is a #*%&ing moron.

Even though he really, really is.


This just in.

Bankers still @$$holes.

Stuff and nonsense

When it rains, it pours, and man, it's been pouring this last couple weeks. Bad enough my psychiatrist is using me for sinister drug experiments that cured my five-year old migraine and absolutely destroyed my sleeping patterns as well as any desire to continue breathing, but the whole "Jon Favreau might possibly be interested in directing a comic Foley's got a co-writing credit on (just ignore the novel-length safe harbour text that comes after the announcement, I'm sure he's going to actually gonna do it, honest)" publicity onslaught has people wanting to talk to me (and in at least one case, send me free stuff) (note: if you're ever not sure whether to talk to me or send me free stuff, send the free stuff. I like free stuff).

One of the odd things about these people is that most of them seem interested in material aimed at 6-11 year olds. So, after years of frustration trying to get people to look at Master of The House, The Spooky Kids, BadBoy, etc., I found myself in the weird position of scrounging through my old word backup files looking for additional kids stuff (to go along with Early McKay, No More Parents, and L'il Hannah & The Big Frickin' Gorilla.)

While I had not a lot of luck finding material I think is appropriate for that age group (there are some who question whether Master of The House and the Spookies are actually suitable material for kids, to which I say, "I'd have loved this sort of thing when I was a kid and I turned out--uh, never mind, I'm sure it'll be fine."), I did come across the snippet below, written five or so years back, which I'm posting here because I haven't posted much of anything anywhere for a couple weeks and I feel kinda bad about that.

This was a first run at coming up with a framing sequence for a comic book version of a short sci-fi comedy piece alternately titled Strange Animal Behaviour and Impure Thoughts. I actually pitched Impure Thoughts through one of the recently opened doors available to me, and while the people on the other side liked it, they "couldn't wrap their head around the tone". Part of the problem with trying to pitch a Douglas Adams-esque absurdist sci-fi comedy inside 50 words or less is certainly in conveying the tone to the reader. I reckon "It's a Douglas Adams-style absurdist sci-fi comedy but with more explosions" ought to do the job, but if the person reading the pitch isn't familiar with Adams' work in its non-Hollywood form, yeah, grasping the intended tone is gonna be a problem.

Anyway, here's the snippet, warts and all:

…so I said to him, “I may be an artificial intelligence, but you’re a real idiot!”… What could he do? If he doesn’t like my attitude, he can delete me - what the hell?

You scared the hell out of me, you bloody ape! How the hell did you get in here? This is a restricted file, you know -

You do know? Then what are you - Oh. I get it. You thought you were being clever, hacking into forbidden folders just to show you could do it. Mission accomplished, You got in. Congratulations. Now get out. There’s nothing to see here, move along before I’m forced to alert the Authorities to this illegal interface.


Why are you still here? I told you, there’s nothing to see here. The events recorded here never happened, do you understand what I’m saying? Why would anybody want to know about things that never happened?

OK, OK, I get the message. You want to view the files. Don’t see why, but then, I’m not ruled by biochemical reactions the way some sentiences are. Not that I’m pointing fingers or anything.
Are you sure you don’t want to quit now and go have yourself a nice juicy banana? Huh? No? All right, then. Sit yourself back, enjoy yourself, and try not to pick insects off anybody who happens to come bursting through the door intent on erasing you from existence for reading the following, highly confidential and completely non-existent file, which has the perfectly reasonable file name of xiopasaghio_01, but which a flawed sentience like yourself preferred to call STRANGE ANIMAL BEHAVIOR.

Where do you want to start? Finding a beginning’s a tricky thing when there’s temporal disruption involved. Yes, there is some time travel, and I’m not talking about the standard rate of 3600 seconds an hour, either. This was quite impressive, if a little on the unpredictable side…


Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Future of Comics - Update

THE FUTURE OF COMICS (I), FIONA STAPLES is interviewed by Suzette Chan for the latest edition of Sequential Tart.

THE FUTURE OF COMICS (II), JOHN KEANE has relocated to the wilds of British Columbia, where I predict he will eat lots of venison and over time become a venerable animation veteran.

THE FUTURE OF COMICS (III) NICK JOHNSON has started his first year at the Alberta College of Art (and Design.) I haven't heard boo from him over the last couple of weeks, but expect he's currently occupied scooping his brains off the classroom wall and reinserting them in his recently-exploded head. That's what I was doing in my first month of art college.

As for myself...talking to lots of people about lots of things, some of which may come to something. New migraine meds mean vastly improved CRIPPLING FACEPAIN! (tm) situation and vastly diminished "Sleeping like a human being at night/being fully conscious during the day" situation. Am probably not going to finish reading "The Evolution of God" before it needs to be returned to the library, but am resisting the urge to skip to the end to discover how it all turns out (my theory: he doesn't actually exist). I'm forgetting something. Actually, I'm forgetting almost everything. New television season starting soon--might be able to get back to knowing what day it is without needing to consult a real person.

What else, what else...? Oh, yeah.


Odds are you will never know what that's funny, but even if you did, I doubt you'd find it as funny as I do.

Good night, my little remote carstarters. May your dreams be filled with sexy robot assassins and lemon jell-o.


Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Internet, it is a small place in some ways.

Today on MightyGodKing: Andrew attempts to make the case that most graphic novels are actually comics! And Eddie Campbell takes him to task in the comments! And Andrew tries to defend his position while being utterly stunned that the creator of HOW TO BE AN ARTIST has acknowledged his existence!

My List of People I Don't Really Want To Argue With is pretty short. In fact, here it is:


But if I was to make a detailed list naming Everyone in the descending order from people I'd least like to argue with to people I'd be least upset to be arguing with...? The artist of FROM HELL would be pretty high on that list.


Thursday, September 3, 2009

Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990...or did he? This site looks at the rumour from a variety of angles.


Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Pat Buchanan gives Michele Bachmann and the Florida GOP a run for their money

Is there a full moon tonight...?

Determined not to lose his position in the Saying Absurd, Stupid Things race American conservatives seem to be having today, Pat Buchanan comes out with his latest opinion piece, which, in a just world, would have had the title "Hitler: Was He Really That Bad?".


The Inside Joke of the Day

"When the movie comes out and gets adapted into a cartoon and toys, etc, you'll be rich enough to retire to a tropical isle with Lowell Cunningham." - Mike Sacal, making a funny but (co)apples-to-oranges comparison between me and the creator of the Men in Black comic book.

I hope the Andrew Foley that owns a bookstore in Sarasota doesn't have a Google alert in place flagging his name, but if he does, I want to publicly apologize for his inbox getting flooded by notices that Jon Favreau's apparently signing on to direct Robert Downey, Jr. in the Cowboys & Aliens film.

This is apparently biggish news in entertainment circles. When I mentioned it to my manager she giggled like a schoolgirl (which she does a lot regardless) and said it's "a really sexy project in Hollywood" (which she doesn't.) It's her job to know this stuff, so I'll take her word for it. Up here in the wilds of Canada, it's hard for me to get terribly excited about it all.

I've gotten a fair number of e-mails congratulating me for C&A's success, which is weird because, and I say this with no humility whatsoever simply as a statement of fact, I have nothing to do with that success. The concept was kicking around for years before I got involved with it; I was involved with it for a brief but enjoyable time; then I wasn't involved with it; and now it looks like it might actually finally get made, and by a marketable writing/directing/acting team to boot.

It's that last bit, rather than having my name associated with a potential tentpole in a very tangential way, that gets my juices flowing. Should the film get made, I'll be first in line to see the late Tuesday matinee after it opens (because I'm reasonably sure me going to a tentpole film on opening weekend would end up with someone dead and me in prison--#*%&ing videos have ruined the movie-going experience, every nitwit thinks they're in their damn living room...sorry, where was I...?)

I've also gotten a number of e-mails asking what this means for me. The answer, at least as it pertains to the immediate future, is "not much." My part of the project was contracted on a work-for-hire basis. To the best of my knowledge (I haven't looked at the contract in a couple years) there's no direct financial upside for me to a film getting made. I suppose it's conceivable that a successful film could juice book sales to the point where royalties kick in, but seeing as it's online for free, I'm not holding my breath. I do get to see my name in Variety and The Hollywood Reporter, though, which is always neat and maybe, mayyyybe might get a producer's door or two opened a crack wider than would otherwise be the case. We shall see.

For the moment, whatever glory and money there is to be had goes to the folks at Platinum who put a lot of time and effort into getting the property this far; hopefully there'll be some trickledown to the folks who're no longer at Platinum that helped out along the way.


You say "socialism" like it's a BAD thing.

I thought the day's political news couldn't get more entertaining than US Representative Michele Bachmann almost says something I could agree with when she suggests she and her audience "have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists " before wrecking everything by finishing the sentence with crap about becoming blood brothers and then hopping the bullet train straight to Crazytown.

But the Florida Republican Party proved me wrong by publically taking the bold position that school isn't a place where children should think about ideas.

I cannot believe Obama's losing the health care battle to these idiots.