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First draft script of #1, page one of Chimaera's Canadian Champion Contingent:

(O/P=Off-panel, ET=Electric Word balloon tail.)

(My dialogue emphasis doesn't seem to have survived the cut and paste. Oh well.)

PAGE 1

PANEL 1

Panoramic shot of the Calgary skyline. A nice day in February. Clear skies, sun shining down. From the top of the biggest skyscraper comes a word balloon:

SIMPSON: …AND SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, LET ME PRESENT THE MEMBERS OF CANADA’S FIRST OFFICIAL SUPERHERO TEAM, THE CALGARY WHITE-HATS…

CAP: CALGARY, ALBERTA.

CAP: CANADA.

PANEL 2

Panels 2-5 will all be the same size--either two tiers of two or one tier of long vertical panels. Each will be basically the same shot, with the corporate toady SIMPSON at the bottom right, gesturing excitedly to the main portion of each panel, a large projection screen on which we’re going to see the members of Phoenix Petroleum’s corporate-owned superhero team, the White-Hats. In this panel, the focus is on THE STAMPEDER, a seven foot tall, heavily muscled man in a sleeveless black leather trenchcoat, black gloves, who’s actually wearing a white cowboy hat (the others will have a white hat symbol on them somewhere, in much the same way cover girls on Playboy have the bunny logo somewhere on them) (almost exactly the same way, actually.)

SIMPSON: …FIRST UP IS THE STAMPEDER.

SIMPSON: THE NEVER-SAY-DIE SPIRIT OF CALGARY, GIVEN HUMAN FORM, THE WHITE-HATS’ RESIDENT POWERHOUSE HAS A HEART OF GOLD WITH A REDNECK EDGE.

PANEL 3

Same angle, but now we’re looking at the scantily-clad, well-endowed form of SUNSHINE, whose costume (what there is of it) looks like it’s been painted on. She’s wearing a come-hither smile; a white hat medallion hangs from a thin golden chain between her massive breasts.

SIMPSON: NEXT WE’VE GOT SUNSHINE, OUR FEMINIST ICON. SHE’S HOT, IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD, CONTROLLING BOTH HEAT AND LIGHT. THE ROOM BRIGHTENS WHEN SHE WALKS IN--AND I MEAN THAT LITERALLY!

PANEL 4

Same angle, but this time the screen features KID KALGARY, a forty-year-old ad executive’s idea of what’s “fresh” for the teen set. A fifteen year old boy who looks maybe thirteen, dressed in a variety of clichéd fashion. His baggy t-shirt has a white hat on it, his baseball cap is turned sideways at a jaunty angle, he’s got a rocket-skateboard under one arm, long, baggy shorts over big, stereotypically amerimanga-style boots that fit into slots on the rocketboard.

SIMPSON: HE’S FRESH! HE’S HAPPENING! HE’S KID KALGARY AND HE’S GOT A ROCKET-POWERED SKATEBOARD!

SIMPSON: (CONNECTED)(WE’RE CURRENTLY TAKING BIDS FROM TOY COMPANIES TO PRODUCE K-K ROCKET-BOARDS--IT’LL BE HUGE NEXT CHRISTMAS!)

CHINOOK: (O/P) K-K ? HE SPELLS CALGARY WITH A “K”?

SIMPSON: YOU BET! HE’S THE SHIZZLE, YO!

PANEL 5

Same again, but this time the screen shows a huge, Kirbyesque monster who nevertheless manages to give off the air of a teddy-bear. BIG OIL’s body is composed entirely of, well, oil. He’s wearing tight shorts, the belt buckle of which is a white hat.

SIMPSON: ECOLOGICAL DISASTERS AREN’T ALL BAD--YOU COULDN’T HAVE BIG OIL, HERE, WITHOUT AN OIL SPILL TO TRIGGER HIS LATENT SUPERPOWERS!

SIMPSON: HE’S THE MONSTER VILLAINS FEAR AND KIDS LOVE, AND NO WONDER! BIG OIL IS--

MRS. KING: (O/P, ET) I BELIEVE I’VE SEEN ENOUGH.
***

I wrote a first draft script of the other 21 pages of #1 in the last 48 hours. More fun than anything trying to pass itself off as work should ever be.

Foley